That's Church

If you’re a Burgher, maybe by now you’ve come across “Cat’s Call”, a local advice column in the PG written by one miss Catherine Specter. I must give Cat props for giving what I consider to be sound advice 99.99% of the time. That other .01%? Yeah, that happened today.

The issue? An office chickadee here in the Burgh was getting tired of her officemate always trying to have chitchat while they were in the bathroom stalls at work (they were on the same “schedule” you see), so she wrote to Cat and asked if it would be a no-no to tell said officemate to shut up. Cat’s call?

Nobody wants to associate officemates with bathroom duty. It’s just gross. Telling someone to shut up is a little harsh. “Shh, I need to concentrate” is gentler.

A moment please, while I pick myself up off the floor. Can you IMAGINE? “I need to concentrate”?!?!? What the HELL do you need to concentrate on? Aim? Exertion? Flushing? Wiping clean?

And if that wasn’t enough, Cat ends with this:

Cat’s Call: ‘Cause whatever you do in a stall, it should be gentle.

Is this for real?!? I mean, did anyone at all read this one before it went to print?

What should it have been? This:

PittGirl’s Call: Unless this officemate is your boss, begin describing your stall “doings” in graphic detail as they occur. Chances are she’ll quit chit chatting with you while you’re doing your business.

Lordy.

So, reality TV has come to the Burgh. Ya know Dick Buttkiss? Er, I mean BUTKUS! You know, former Chicago Bear (gag), Hall of Famer, actor (I always remember him most from My Two Dads), XFL commentator, annoyingly obnoxious he-man, etc.

Well, he has taken over as head coach of the Montour High School football team all for a reality show that will air on ESPN. His goal? Improve on the lots of losses, one win record of the team.

So yesterday was day one of filming and the forced DRAMA was out in full effect. How?

Well, consider the following:
–The Spartans practiced for nearly six hours
–They churned through sprints and slammed their bodies into sleds and never slowed to more than a jog — even when going to get drinks of water.

Butkus’ response:

“I don’t think we can honestly say we gave it 100 percent today,” Butkus told the team after practice, as microphones leaned in.

Heh.

These are teenagers that practiced for six freakin’ hours? The only thing I think I’ve ever done for six straight hours is maybe sleeping. Heck, even in college, our tennis team practices were only three or four hours. If I played football and didn’t slow to more than a jog for six straight hours and some smarmy, football legend-actor told me he felt I didn’t give it100 percent, I’m pretty sure I’d spit at him and kick him in the balls.

Just saying.

On the other hand, he does seem as though he grown a heart over the past couple of decades, so we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.