That's Church

I don’t know anything about what it must feel like to have Super Glue on male privates (although my grandmother once Super Glued her lips together because she thought the Super Glue tube was Blistex) ; however, I imagine the average guy would rather have all of his toenails pulled out with tweezers than go through what this guy did.

Was he naked when he walked that mile to Sheetz? Even if he wasn’t, he totally should win every stinking cent he asks for. And what do you suppose the hospital had to do to fix the problem?

She SUPER GLUED his privates! I’m not quite sure how strong Super Glue really is, but I do know that it is strong enough to bond a man wearing a construction hat to a steel beam (remember that commercial?).

UPDATE: Oh, holy crap! It gets worse. The Trib was kind enough to give details:

O’Toole glued Slaby’s penis to his stomach and glued his rectum shut while using nail polish to paint his hair and write a profanity on his body, according to court records.

This lady was pissed!

I’m having mixed feelings about these local girls “girlcotting” the A&F t-shirts.

They started with a little protest and suddenly they are on the Today Show and on CNN talking about the degrading nature of the T-shirts and demanding they be pulled from the stores.

I don’t think a T-shirt advertising the wonders of being a blonde (I am a brunette, but gee, I know for a FACT that blondes get more attention, so these shirts are damn true), is so terrible. Nor do I think a shirt advertising a nice rack is so terrible. Couple of reasons:

1. I don’t hear the blondes flipping out, nor do I hear the girls with nice racks flipping out.
2. If you don’t like ‘em, don’t buy ‘em. Girlcott them, but quit trying to force the store to quit selling them.
3. Why get upset about these shirts? Why aren’t they pissed about microminiskirts, see-through shirts, thong underwear, cleavage baring or tummy baring shirts, and the other countless items sold by countless stores that are basically ho-wear for teens?
4. I don’t think this is a reflection of the amoral values of A & F. I think these shirts are a reflection of A&F making a profit on the decreasing moral values of America in general. They wouldn’t stock them if they weren’t selling.
5. I can make one on CafePress if A&F pulls them.
6. I want this t-shirt.
7. I think it would be cool if I, a hot brunette, wore a shirt that said, “I had a nightmare I was a brunette.” Same way I think it would be awesome if a small-chested girl wore the shirt that says “Who needs brains when you’ve got these?”

And then there’s this:

Sen. Steve Rauschenberger praised the “courageous actions” of the girls in Allegheny County and said he plans to introduce a resolution this week asking Abercrombie & Fitch to stop selling the T-shirts in his state.

I’m sorry, but that is freaking hilarious. A resolution?! To stop selling T-shirts?! What about this shirt? Or all of these? Or holy hell, what about this Sen. Rauschenberger? Do we want this filth in our state?

I guess my point is this: chill. It is a t-shirt. There are worse things in the world. Like K-Fed’s rapping. Oy.

And now that I’ve read my post, I realize I don’t have mixed feelings at all.

Update:

Apparently, I am in the minority on this one.