That's Church

Winner of the Under 25 Category: Kely Jo Wigginton, 21 of New Stanton! Congrats!

Leaving your infant in your Corsica while you go in the bar and drink for 45 minutes.

You suck. Allegedly.

Winner of the Over 25 Category: Lori Ann Bowers, 28 of McDonald! Congrats!

Giving patients the wrong medicine at the medical facility you work at so that you can swipe the methadone to give to your friend as payment in return for WATCHING YOUR CHILD.

“Hey, I know you’re a raging drug addict and all, so can you be my babysitter in exchange for free drugs? Cool!”

You suck. Allegedly.

Your “You are a shitty mom and the entire city hopes your children are taken away from you so that they can have good lives” certificates are in the mail, along with your “Annoying Burgher” crowns.

Get some help.

Have you all seen this?

WPXI has a thingy (I’m too lazy today to come up with a better word, so the word of the day is “thingy”) where you can buy $50 gift certificates to local establishments for $25 a pop.

Cool!

They sell out pretty quickly, at least the more popular ones do, however there are some good ones still available right now.

You can get a $50 gift card to Smithfield Cafe — if you can ignore the smoky, Italian mob, old people atmosphere, you can get a fabulous double decker Reuben there.

Casablanca Bistro and Sammy’s Corned Beef, both of which are downtown, are also still available.

You’re welcome.

Oh, LaMont (big L, small A, big M” Jones)!

Not only is LaMont having the wool pulled over his eyes by the likes of Cassie Keller (which by the way, you would not believe how many people Google the name “Cassie Keller” from all over the country and land on my blog), he is also expanding his resume to include International Style Guru and Mr. Manners:

First, a dude in Colima, Mexico wrote Pittsburgh’s own LaMont to ask a style question!

Mexico! “These are sweet brown leather pants I got at the Mercado. What shall I wear them with? I know, I’ll email LaMont Jones in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA! He’ll know just what to do! Mama! Necesito utilizar la computadora!”

LaMont, you go, boy.

And then, some very very very confused dude wrote the Fashion Editor to ask an etiquette question! I think Cat’s Call would have been a better place to go for that question, but maybe that’s just me.

My point is this: People seem to be looking to LaMont for answers to a wider and wider variety of questions. My question is this: How long until LaMont becomes the next Cojo?