That's Church

Not to be like a downer or anything, but God, it is stories like this that make me really really really hope there is a heaven and a hell.

And I hope there is a special place in hell for people like him and a special place in heaven for poor little innocent Amish girls who are tied up and then shot execution style.

Asshole.  Way to ruin my day.

This would be a great day for David Conrad to reach out to me.

I think we’ve found Lukey’s very own “Redd Up”.

• “I think it’s important to note that there are some fresh faces there that can apply some new thinking and move this city forward,” he said Friday.
• “Let’s go to work, Pittsburgh, for there is much work to be done and we have the right team to do the job, to move Pittsburgh forward.”
• “It is something they need to do to move this city forward,” he said.
• Ravenstahl recalled, “I was in that procession and many Pittsburghers at that point recognized me and offered words of encouragement ‘Luke we’re behind you, it’s gonna be okay, good luck, we’re gonna continue to move forward.’
• In a written statement, Ravenstahl congratulated Shields and said he looked forward to working with him “to continue to move the city of Pittsburgh forward.”
• “We have the right team in place to get the job done, to move Pittsburgh forward,” he said.
• “We now can talk nationwide about Pittsburgh moving forward, some of the great things that are happening here, and to be a young voice in that process is something I look forward to,” he told CNN’s Betty Nguyen shortly before 3 p.m. yesterday.

So apparently, Dick Skrinjar, Mayor Ravenstahl’s Chief of Making Shit Up has given Lukey talking points that basically amount to one 3 by 5 postcard with the words “MOVE FORWARD” printed in a Sharpie.

20 bucks says that when the election finally happens, Lukey’s election slogan will be “Luke Ravenstahl:  Moving Pittsburgh Forward.”

Everything that Sally Wiggin did wrong when she wore this ridiculous getup (which seems to have earned her an endorsement deal, hat tip to Matt!), Alison Morris did right when she showed up at the Family House Polo event wearing this sweet number.  From the pages of the latest SEEN mag:

Dress … adorable. Necklace … chunky, but cute. Shoes … I’d kick puppies for those.

Take note you media ladies of the Burgh. THIS is how you want to look when Marylynn Uricchio calls you a “Seen Stealer.”

Because you can steal a scene looking smokin’ hot … but as Sally knows now, you can also steal a scene by looking like you skinned a zoo animal and sloppily pinned its carcass around your body.

If Sonni Abatta is the high-maintenance girlfriend who always leaves you sitting on the couch while she gets ready, and Wendy Bell is the strong-willed hot girlfriend with whom you fight constantly and have lots of angry make-up sex with, then Alison Morris is the sweet girlfriend that you can hang out with in front of the TV, then take her to the opera with your mom and dad.

What a cutie pie. I wonder if I can get that dress in black?

To appease those readers of the blog that claim I never write anything positive about the Pirates, let me start off by acknowledging the fact that Freddy Sanchez won the National League batting title yesterday, by batting a .344.

He’s the first Pirate to do it since 19-freakin’-83. So in addition to being arguably the hottest player on the team, he’s also the hottest player on the team!

That being said … oh, here it comes guys, get ready to hate PittGirl …

This ray of light in an otherwise dismal season is not going to change how I feel. I refuse to be excited about our 14th losing season. I refuse to be excited that our second half ball has been better than our first half ball. We lost 8 of our last 10 games. In my defense, I start off every season being very excited and hopeful. Truly I do.

Reader Joe commented that the Pirates ended with a .414 winning percentage and the Steelers currently have a .333 winning percentage. Here’s my problem with that comparison, or even comparing the Pirates winning percentage to the bottom place Penguins of last year … the Steelers and the Penguins have NOT gone 14 years without a winning season.

That’s why, while I blow Freddy big fat kisses and pray he sticks around for a long time, I also throw big nasty evil eyes at McClatchy and the Nuttings and Dave Littlefield. The jury is still out on Jim Tracy, so being the patient Burgher that I am I’m going to give him some more time before I throw him in one of the kisses or evil eyes column.